Competing schedules. I have this problem with being intentional with relationships. I think if I have to plan a certain time to meet with friends and family, then that time isn’t genuine, and I want these relationships to feel genuine, so I go ahead and talk myself out of ever making the effort. Maybe you feel this way, or maybe you don’t and I’m just a freak. Either way, relationships take effort and a decision to make other people a priority. Marci often says, “Love is a choice.” Well, so are healthy relationships.
The dreaded night shift. Marci recently got switched over to the night shift at the hospital. Which, let’s be honest, isn’t entirely a bad thing because of a higher paycheck $$$. But, with her out in the evenings and me in the office planning ministry events, time together is pretty scarce. To see a visual representation of this, here’s our calendar:
Let’s be honest, Marci probably has more fun decorating this thing more than we actually use it. Either way, it goes to show that planning for any “us” time is pretty difficult and stressful.
So here’s my attempt at making some resolutions for my relationships. Whether it be with God, family, or friends, I think my life could use a little bit of these reminders.
1. Make people a priority: So ya, this is pretty obvious, but I still overlook its importance. I’m tired after a long day, or selfish with my own time and give myself excuses that I deserve this time to binge-watch my favorite shows. Sometimes it takes putting forth the effort to engage with people instead of using excuses to plug in and fade away.
2. Invite them in: Another issue of selfishness. Marci is really good about opening up her life to me. Me… not so much. I don’t know if it has to do with my child-rearing, but I am very possessive about my time and hobbies. This is so “me-focused” and allows me to put up my own barriers. It’s important to have personal time, but perhaps it would be beneficial to sprinkle in others into my interests and favorite past times.
3. Turn off the TV. Ok, I love TV. And like I mentioned before, nothing beats just coming home from a long day and zoning out at that screen. Sometimes, this is perfectly fine. Although, if the only free time I have is filled with overlooking the other person in the room, then I may have an idol problem.
4. Make routines. And keep this up! Putting effort into a relationship doesn’t show weakness or ingenuity, but rather favor and ethic. I never want to lose that sense of captivation in any of my relationships. Whatever relationship it is I have, it takes work to maintain and show adoration to that the other person.
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